Mookychick Messageboard  
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Chatbox
Please log in to join the chat!
Post Info TOPIC: "13 things mentally strong people don't do"


Runic Mook of the North (mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 2641
Date:
"13 things mentally strong people don't do"


I encountered this list being shared on facebook: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/13-things-mentally-strong-people-dont.html

A bit odd title, and this is all stuff everyone knows anyway isn't it? While I agree with what being said, it also strikes me as being a bit Captain Obvious?

It is something about this kind of article that strikes me as a bit odd, so I would be very pleased about other opinions on it?

 



__________________

"So what you are saying is -I shouldn't play with fire" she said at last. "Of course you should" said One-Eye gently. "But don't be surprised if the fire play back." -Joanne Harris



Honoured Mook

Status: Offline
Posts: 290
Date:

The title sits wrong with me. Perhaps "13 ways to improve your mental well-being" or similar would sound less ... ehh I can't think of the word. But the title makes you feel like if you don't do any of those things then you're weak. 



__________________

Sophie

 

The world is quiet here ...



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 2008
Date:

I came across this article a few days ago, and I really didn't like it. I think that the term 'mentally strong' is incredibly subjective and I reckon it probably means very different things to different people. But, I think the main thing I didn't like about this was the tone, rather than it coming across as an inspiring article, I thought it came across as quite accusatory, sort of 'stop being so weak, look how strong I am'.

And whilst I think that most of the general points could be something to aspire to (though not necessarily, I don't see why prefering to be in the company of others would make someone a 'weak person') I don't agree with a lot of the detail. For example in the first point is implies that being upset about the way someone has treated you is not a 'mentally strong' thing to do, the way I'm seeing it I feel it implies that showing emotion is weak, which I find ridiculous.

Similarly I don't see the relationship between mental strength and not wanting to upset other people. Yes, there are times in life where you have to put yourself first, and that might not be ideal for someone else, but the implication that to feel bad about it is weak isn't one I agree with.

I personally find the article to be preching one person's definition of mental strength as fact, and I feel it shames anyone that does not fit this exact set of ideals, which is something I didn't like.

__________________

Etsy 10% off with the code 10MOOKY

Shiny New Etsy

Instagram



Honoured Mook

Status: Offline
Posts: 290
Date:

Thanks Inky, that was a far more eloquent way of saying what I was thinking =)



__________________

Sophie

 

The world is quiet here ...



Honoured Mook

Status: Offline
Posts: 133
Date:

Interestingly enough, I have never met a single person that I feel fills up that entire list, but the more boxes in that list that I can check them off with, the more of a douchebag I perceive them as. But then again every single one of the people I know that fills up many of the things on the list also fails miserably at 12 and are all closet racists and "it's just a joke"-misogynists.



__________________
Professional Lurker
WARNING: English is not my first language, so errors in my posts are bound to happen.


Tumbling around

Tweet Tweet!


Runic Mook of the North (mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 2641
Date:

Yes, I think it is the accusatory tone is, well rather lame really. I think your title is much better Possumzilla.

Then the reader would probably interpret the points differently. Then point one would be advise to move on rather than wallowing in self pity. We all do it from time to time, but it's not very useful for us.

And it is not anything wrong with preferring the company of others over being alone, but it is dangerous and unhealthy to be unable to cope with spending time in your own company. Same with point five. It's good to consider the wellbeing of others and make other people happy, but having a need to be liked by everyone is wasted time. I think what it tries (and fails) is to point out that in order to be a resource for yourself and others you need a degree of self reliance.


I am however tempted to say that not being able to exercise control over your emotions is a sign that one's mental muscles need more practice? I do not mean control as in stoic lack of emotions, but rather being able to steer one's emotions to be a positive thing in one's life, knowing when to let go of inhibitions and when to have good impulse control et cetera.

__________________

"So what you are saying is -I shouldn't play with fire" she said at last. "Of course you should" said One-Eye gently. "But don't be surprised if the fire play back." -Joanne Harris



Runic Mook of the North (mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 2641
Date:

Moth wrote:

Interestingly enough, I have never met a single person that I feel fills up that entire list, but the more boxes in that list that I can check them off with, the more of a douchebag I perceive them as. But then again every single one of the people I know that fills up many of the things on the list also fails miserably at 12 and are all closet racists and "it's just a joke"-misogynists.


 That is interesting, I generally have the opposite impression: While I've never met anyone who fills up the entire list, I find that the more boxes people people check off the easier they are to be around. The more boxes on this list someone do the more energy do I perceive they drain from their surroundings. 



__________________

"So what you are saying is -I shouldn't play with fire" she said at last. "Of course you should" said One-Eye gently. "But don't be surprised if the fire play back." -Joanne Harris



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 3054
Date:

Possumzilla wrote:

The title sits wrong with me. Perhaps "13 ways to improve your mental well-being" or similar would sound less ... ehh I can't think of the word. But the title makes you feel like if you don't do any of those things then you're weak.





Is the word "judgemental",possibly?

I totally agree with you - the first thing I did was reverse the polarity of the article's flow and it became "13 Things Mentally Weak People Do",which just made me think of Punch bashing Judy with his stick,saying "Naughty,naughty,very naughty!" [or was that the Prodigy,can't remember...] There is a constructive article hidden in there,but it needs re-writing to change the emphasis.

Possumzilla wrote:

Thanks Inky, that was a far more eloquent way of saying what I was thinking =)





She always writes really good,well-argued posts ; she said pretty much what I would have said!

Dave.

__________________
2015 : Muse VII :) "It's gonna get heavy!" ~ Matt

New posters should read "So you joined Mooky" in the FAQ forum. Or Matt Bellamy on an armoured flying unicorn shall smite you. With lasers! \m/

Mooky's Resident Emperor!



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 3438
Date:

Dave it was The Shamen...Ebenezer Goode.

__________________


Runic Mook of the North (mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 2641
Date:

^I agree that as advice, "suck it up, get over it" is not very helpful. It is too brutal. But when bad shit have happened, it is my experience that accepting, learning and moving on is the only thing that is truly healing in the end. The way I see it, it is advice one should be very very careful about giving to others, but it can be extremely useful to give oneself that kind of advice.


But having established that we all agree that this article is shite wrapping, what do you think about the prayer of serenity?


"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."




__________________

"So what you are saying is -I shouldn't play with fire" she said at last. "Of course you should" said One-Eye gently. "But don't be surprised if the fire play back." -Joanne Harris



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 2008
Date:

^Ignoring the religious aspect of it, I think that makes a lot of sense, and basically sums up what that article ought to have said. 

Irilar wrote:

I am however tempted to say that not being able to exercise control over your emotions is a sign that one's mental muscles need more practice? I do not mean control as in stoic lack of emotions, but rather being able to steer one's emotions to be a positive thing in one's life, knowing when to let go of inhibitions and when to have good impulse control et cetera.


 Controlling your emotions in terms of not letting things get to you, and managing not dwell on situations that have made you unhappy makes sense, similarly being able to take unpleasant emotions and turn them into something more manageable can only be a good thing. But I think that in reality those can be very difficult things to do, and that often trying ends up in just ignoring those feelings and bottling things up. The orignal point in the article seemed to me to be saying that showing emotion was weak, an idea which I think is more likely to damage your mental health than it is to strengthen it, but I don't think that's what you were suggesting. In short I think that you're right about being able to steer negative emotions into a more positive direction being a good thing, if slightly idealistic. 



__________________

Etsy 10% off with the code 10MOOKY

Shiny New Etsy

Instagram

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us