Mookychick Messageboard  
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Chatbox
Please log in to join the chat!
Post Info TOPIC: 50 shades of gray -a storm in a glass of water?


Runic Mook of the North (mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 2641
Date:
50 shades of gray -a storm in a glass of water?


Since I only live partially under a rock I've noticed the controversy around a certain upcoming film. And I can't help but being puzzled by both the con and pro lairs. To me, it just seems like rather dull housewifeporn. Probably worth a few laughs though (I watched the trailer, and it seems to put the S in silly rather than sexy), it's like one gigantic overproduced turkey.

So why are people so worked up about this?



__________________

"So what you are saying is -I shouldn't play with fire" she said at last. "Of course you should" said One-Eye gently. "But don't be surprised if the fire play back." -Joanne Harris



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 3425
Date:

Because it quite neatly portrays a very emotionally and sexually aabusive man as the epitome of what a woman wants in a partner. An extremely Mary Sue leading female character who spends the whole book either fumbling around the place or actively telling him she does not want to be in a "bdsm" relationship. He stalks her, threatens her, gaslights and manipulates her.

The authir huts down any conversation critisising any of these aspects in the book and touts it as a "hiw-to" guide on bdsm despite having done minimal research into the lifestyle.

__________________


Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 2004
Date:

Like Spikey said, the sex isn't the main issue, it's that it's using BDSM as an excuse for an abuse relationship. I've not read it, but I did have a quick look through this analysis of it and some of it does seem quite concerning.

Spolier, just in case anyone's actually planning on seeing it (probably aslo TW for abuse):

Spoiler

 

There's probably a lot more to be said, but I'll leave that for someone that's actually read it.



__________________

Cut Out And Keep

Etsy 10% off with the code 10MOOKY



Runic Mook of the North (mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 2641
Date:

Yes, but it is a work of fiction aimed at adult women. And it is hardly the only example of abuse fantasy in the genre. It is not my cup of tea, but as a reader of (for example) Cthulhu erotica, I'm not in a position to throw stones.


I guess my main issue is that there are a lot of loud people out and about on the great world wide web who are either:

a. Bashing the film (without having seen it) in a way that is basically just slutshaming any women who want to see it.

or

b. Nutcases who are so lost in their fantasybubble that they vehemently deny the obviously abusive content.


Or rather, I'm not really sure if these people are really that many. Possibly they are just feeding off each other to further confirm the standpoint they've already decided on?

__________________

"So what you are saying is -I shouldn't play with fire" she said at last. "Of course you should" said One-Eye gently. "But don't be surprised if the fire play back." -Joanne Harris



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 3425
Date:

I have no problem abuse fantasy or whatever floats anyone's boat. I have a problem when people refuse to acknowledge that Christian's behaviour is abusive and manipulative etc and say "it is BDSM" "it is consensual". Coersive sex is not consensual! His actions are that of a very dangerous individual and every woman should run a fucking mile from him and then keep running...but then he would have already tracked your phone so you might as well just let him get on with his own fantasy.

Selling this as a sexy fantasy does nothing to help women who are in abusive relationships and are hearing how this behaviour is being glamourised and coveted as an ideal!

__________________


Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 2181
Date:

Grey is not in a BDSM relationship, and he doesn't want one. He takes it so far outside the bedroom and the realm of consent. To keep track of her, so she doesn't talk to men at work, he BUYS the company she works for, and promises that if she leaves he will buy EVERY company she might ever want to work for. He stalks her family, uses her bank account without knowledge or consent and has a habit of responding to emails by physically turning up at the door even when she's visiting her mother halfway across the country.

He ignores the safe words, or doesn't give her chance to use them (she is screaming and crying and unable to form words, and he uses the fact that she didn't say no to mean yes). His 'contract' assumes that D/s relationships are full time and leave all the power in one corner. A REAL D/s contract wouldn't include clauses that mean that the sub has to apply for permission to end the relationship (permission that can be denied: if she doesn't want to do it he still has the power to say she HAS to). He hits her because he is angry with her, and informs her that he will hit her if she comes because their sex is just for him.

I have no issue with women (or anyone) who want to watch the film to critic it, or as a bit of cinematic fluff, or even to get off on it. It's people who don't understand that it's WRONG and isn't accurate. Reports come in every day from hospitals that people have been brought in thinking that smacking someone with a belt even if they scream is sexy. They take what is written in the book (and appears in the film, I guess) as a how-to guide. The idea of people read/watching and decides that they're going to try it is disturbing. What is worse, to me and many others, is the idea of a woman in an abusive relationship being persuaded that what her partner is doing is not only okay, but is romantic and sexy. Much like the associated Twilight uproar, but much worse because Edward accidentally bruises Bella (alongside his emotional abuse) and Christian does it because he is angry.

EL James has refused to acknowledge the work as problematic. She hasn't said 'it's wrong, but it's fiction, so it's alright'. She has completely refused to comprehend, and fans refuse to comprehend, that it isn't how a relationship SHOULD work.

__________________

Life Is A Mystery x Death Is Not = Angels and Eyeliner going to Hell hand in hand...

Mooky's Resident Cardinal of Awesomeness

 Don't make me take the shades off...



High Mookish Shaman

Status: Offline
Posts: 741
Date:

^Forgive me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure that E.L. James has responded to people who have contacted her on public forums saying that the behaviour of Grey is abusive and what does she think of her readers holding that behaviour as desirable from a man (some of these people admit to having been in an abusive relationship and that is why they think people ought to be aware that Ana and Grey have a far from healthy relationship) by blocking them and saying they are stopping "real" abuse victims from being taken seriously.

__________________

He'll always be there singing songs in my head.

I believe in Sherlock Holmes.



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 2181
Date:

^ I hadn't heard that. If that's true, that's worse than blindly ignoring the problem. What is 'real' abuse to her? When it isn't done in the guise of sex games?

__________________

Life Is A Mystery x Death Is Not = Angels and Eyeliner going to Hell hand in hand...

Mooky's Resident Cardinal of Awesomeness

 Don't make me take the shades off...



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 3425
Date:

^ I had heard that.

__________________


High Mookish Shaman

Status: Offline
Posts: 741
Date:

This is an interview with James where she says that it freaks her out that people see abuse in her books and "Bringing up my books in this context trivialises the issue, doing the women who go through this a disservice. It also demonises loads of women who enjoy this lifestyle..." funny, since most people who enjoy the BDSM lifestyle hate how her books portray it...



__________________

He'll always be there singing songs in my head.

I believe in Sherlock Holmes.



Mookish Deity Most High

Status: Offline
Posts: 2623
Date:

I'm critical of all the erotica I read as I think that's important- I was also distressed by The Story of O -and I feel that Erica's utter refusal to enter the discussion of the problematic aspects of her book are rude and quite telling of her ignorance.

__________________

"I'm a time lord and I can like travel all around space and through time and shit" he replied kindly.

 



Honoured Mook

Status: Offline
Posts: 133
Date:

I think my problem with it is that they take controlling, abusive behavior as well as rape and then sells it as romantic and paint the abuser as the dream guy. I've read some really weird torture porn too and I think the difference is that at least that is not trying to sell itself as anything other than what it is. It's not brainwashing the reader into thinking that it's normal and acceptable behavior and it's definitely not going to try and push it into your head that it's romantic and passionate. If fsog was sold in some shady bookstore with blocked out windows, then yeah sure whatever, freedom of art and what not, but this is something that is in every cinema in the country and got it's own themed underwear set.

I cannot personally support anything that takes dangerous, toxic and violent behavior towards a partner and sells it off as romantic and passionate. 

TW: Mentions a rape case (might be unnecessary trigger warning but eh) 

Spoiler

This is why my opinion is that we can't have fiction like this getting to further normalize the abuse. 



-- Edited by Moth on Tuesday 17th of February 2015 12:27:01 AM

__________________
Professional Lurker
WARNING: English is not my first language, so errors in my posts are bound to happen.


Tumbling around

Tweet Tweet!
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us