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Post Info TOPIC: Mookychick Domestic Sluts United


Mookish Deity Most High

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Mookychick Domestic Sluts United


(Title inspired by the amazing Domestic Sluttery, my favourite lifestyle blog for people who don't really give a shit)

 

Because I'm definitely not sure I'm a domestic goddess; in fact, most of the time I'm surprised I'm a functioning human being, let alone a Responsible Adult (hahahahaha). A place for sharing household tips, stories of domestic joy/horror, and praise/encouragement for doing horrible chores, as well as whatever else you darn well fancy.

 

This evening, after realising I couldn't even identify the filth upon which the courgettes in the vegetable crisper were resting, I cleaned the fridge. For the first time since we moved into this flat, two years ago. I think I now understand why you're supposed to do it more often or, you know, stop it getting into that state in the first place... it was GRIM. The whole process took two lots of washing-up water, and I think I want to sand my hands off now. Ugh ugh ugh, how do I adult :(



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Mookish Deity Most High

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Haha, poor Annis. Last autumn, Schadenfreude managed to block the sink with leftovers (he doesn't believe that emptying plates before washing them is a thing). He felt guilty and decided to fix the clogged drain himself. When he tried to remove the sink trap, a shitload of dark green smelly gunk burst out. It was all over the kitchen floor and it smelt awful. We had to take turns wiping it up.

Mind you, the drain worked beautifully afterwards.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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I have owned my dyson (vaccuum cleaner) for..oh about 10 years. The other week Mr Spikey cleaned the filter. I didn't even know it was supposed to be cleaned! The water was BLACK and it took I don't know how many rinses it took to make it clean.

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Lush Guru

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HA! This is the thread for me...I am officially outing Capka as slobs.

I once found an apple under our sofa. At least, I think it was an apple...

There are at least two (wrapped in tissue, but used) condoms on the floor of my bedroom right now.

I have been sleeping on one side of the bed for the past couple of weeks because the first night without The Captain it had stuff on it and I just moved that stuff over a bit to get in.

I found a milk bottle under the island in the kitchen today and it had the little bit of milk that stays in all plastic bottles...but it had gone green.



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Mookish Deity Most High

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Dragonboy's bedroom is bloody vile. Dirty plates, an empty sushi carton, used juice bottles, cum stained tissue, a mug with an old orange peel in it, cookie wrappers, plastic carrier bags... Realising a lot of this stuff is my mess is horrifying. However, most did get put in the bin, but the bin tipped and neither of us have shifted it...

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Earlier on my mum was round and I was giving my kitchen a quick clean because there'd been crumbs on the worktop for days, and she went 'you look like a domestic goddess!'. If only she knew...

Also the dust on the dresser in my room is getting thicker by the minute.

And there's like black mold in the corners of the shower but I only noticed it when the landlord sent us a letter saying there's mold in the shower. I'll clean it...soonish...

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Mookish Deity Most High

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fridge juice is kinda gross. i should go and make an expedition into mine really, because i'm sure that there are things growing in there at probably shouldn't be encouraged.

our freezer is interesting. we're pretty bad at labelling and dating, and as mole's going to attempt some taxidermy in the near future, we have a few corpses on ice waiting to be processed. we also have no lighting in the garage where the freezer lives, so selecting dinner usually involves an element of chance, pass- the- parcel like 'squeezing' and questions such as: ''is this squirrel for eating or mounting on a miniature motorbike?''

yes, it would make life easier (and less prone to developing new zoonotic diseases) to have a specific corpse draw, but where would the fun be in that? biggrin

when we first got trip, she would steal uneaten packed lunches out of moley's work bag and 'bury' them in  places around the house, occasionally moving them to a more secure location if she felt you were onto one of her stashes... they could be absolutely hanging, and you could smell them, but finding them was another matter... found one in the cats bed once only because i couldn't work out why they wouldn't sit on it anymore... turned out there was a very mouldy pastrami on rye gently marinading in a ziploc bag in between the duvet bit and the base which must have been about 5 weeks old.

nice.

 

 

 



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High Mookish Shaman

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I desperately needed this thread and I didn't even know! We are moving out in just over 2 weeks so there will be a LOT of gross cleaning between now and then, I will definitely be back here to document the utter horror o_O

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Alka wrote:



I found a milk bottle under the island in the kitchen today and it had the little bit of milk that stays in all plastic bottles...but it had gone green.


milk bombs... when i was doing the gardening work for the housing association, you would get sent in do do one off jobs clearing out alleys full of brambles and trash... plastic milk cartons are something else...they can be in a fine balance if they've been left capped with a bit of milk in and left  for a few weeks in the sun, such fine balance that they resemble unexploded bombs, and the slightest pressure wrong and they explode like IED's and coat you in rancid milk.

made me quite unpopular on the bus home some weeks. lol.

 

 



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Mookish Deity Most High

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lady carfax wrote:

fridge juice is kinda gross. i should go and make an expedition into mine really, because i'm sure that there are things growing in there at probably shouldn't be encouraged.

our freezer is interesting. we're pretty bad at labelling and dating, and as mole's going to attempt some taxidermy in the near future, we have a few corpses on ice waiting to be processed. we also have no lighting in the garage where the freezer lives, so selecting dinner usually involves an element of chance, pass- the- parcel like 'squeezing' and questions such as: ''is this squirrel for eating or mounting on a miniature motorbike?''

yes, it would make life easier (and less prone to developing new zoonotic diseases) to have a specific corpse draw, but where would the fun be in that? biggrin

when we first got trip, she would steal uneaten packed lunches out of moley's work bag and 'bury' them in  places around the house, occasionally moving them to a more secure location if she felt you were onto one of her stashes... they could be absolutely hanging, and you could smell them, but finding them was another matter... found one in the cats bed once only because i couldn't work out why they wouldn't sit on it anymore... turned out there was a very mouldy pastrami on rye gently marinading in a ziploc bag in between the duvet bit and the base which must have been about 5 weeks old.

nice.

 

 

 


 I nearly choked on my hot chocolate reading this and laughing.

Tudor's kitchen (which Tudor didn't cook, eat or store food in after the first term or so) was disgusting last year. There was a day in which two cleaners, M's girlfriend and myself were attempting to clean up. The only reason we didn't chuck everything out the window and into the skip below was because someone moved the skip three feet to the left and we were worried we'd miss. It still ended up in the skip, we just had to get P and K to physically carry it down the two flights of stairs and round the back of the building.

I'm not a goddess myself though. The rule was that I cooked and Tudor washed. Tudor didn't wash until we didn't have dishes to eat off. My flatmates hated dirty dishes on the kitchen units. So we ate our meals in my room and the plates stayed on the desk until he moved them to wash them. After I got home from spending three days in hospital I found that he'd not attempted to cook for himself and so hadn't washed anything. My reaction was basically to sleep in his room for the rest of the year (we preferred his flat anyway and only slept in my room for his last night so we could pack his bedding up and not have to do anything the morning he went). It did mean a MASSIVE dishwashing frenzy in the last few days. We're bad adults.



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Mookish Deity Most High

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When we moved out of the flat, Blackberry and I hadn't used condoms for at least three months. We found a condom. A used condom. A used condom that had leaked onto a pile of coins, which were then stuck to the surface with rancid rubber and ancient semen. I have never known a more vile smell in my life.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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When I moved out of halls my mum moved my bed to help clean behind it and found a condom stuck to the radiator. I didn't even use condoms, and only had sex in there once. I'm not even sure we used a condom. And then when my mum moved me recently she used the "love towel" to dry her hands and face. It took everything to not flinch and alert her to the horror. I am a horrid daughter.

I must say one of my proudest achievements since moving in with Fable is to stop them stuffing semen-soaked tissues into the middle of loo-roll tubes. Too gross.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Oh I've just remembered about the horror kitchen in my mate's old flat. He would bring home vegetables from work (he worked in a fruit & veg shop) that was actually due to go into the compost on the basis that he would use it for soup...it would then lie in the fridge for weeks until someone decided to throw it out. My sister and her, then, boyfriend were tidying up and they lifted a stack of plates...one of which was growing a maaaassive mushroom. The plate was put in the bin!

That flat really was something else! You could hear scratching in the walls, always to be told it was mice. Ummm...no, from the noise it was definitely rats!

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Booky Mooky (mod)

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My least favourite thing about living with Socio is that she sheds hair ALL THE FREAKING TIME, and our vacuum cleaner doesn't work very well so I am constantly picking her hair off of my clothes, my feet/socks/shoes and possessions. One even followed me on holiday to the US.

When Socio and I were doing a massive clean of the house in preparation to swap rooms and I moved my bed, I found: several hair clips, a small box worth of (used) tissues, an emery board that belonged to the previous tenant, and an old condom. At that point I hadn't had sex for two and a half months.

Also the retainer I got when I had my braces removed is somewhere in the house (we think) and nobody knows its whereabouts.

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Honoured Mook

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My ex-roommate (call him Gloomhaunt) and I went through a period where we really loved baked potatoes. We found a cozy little spot to keep our potatoes dark and cool. And then westopped liking baked potatoes. And then we forgot we had the potatoes in.
We sure remembered on moving day.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Spikeyfaerie wrote:

Oh I've just remembered about the horror kitchen in my mate's old flat. He would bring home vegetables from work (he worked in a fruit & veg shop) that was actually due to go into the compost on the basis that he would use it for soup...it would then lie in the fridge for weeks until someone decided to throw it out. My sister and her, then, boyfriend were tidying up and they lifted a stack of plates...one of which was growing a maaaassive mushroom. The plate was put in the bin!

That flat really was something else! You could hear scratching in the walls, always to be told it was mice. Ummm...no, from the noise it was definitely rats!


 Ha, my old housemate used to go bin-diving and bring back vegetables, even when she wasn't sure what they were... if she didn't know, or didn't fancy them, she'd put them in my cupboard as a 'present'. Awesome when I spotted them, awful when I didn't... the smell of rotted celeriac is second to none.



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Seasoned Mookster

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I always eat in bed. There's a weird orange stain on my sheets and I've no intention of changing them anytime soon. I'm not the most hygienic or tidy but I can create the illusion of a place looking clean by shoving everything into a wardrobe/ cupboard, usually does the job. I don't think I have ever probably cleaned a fridge...hmm....

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Mookish Deity Most High

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I'm definitely no domestic goddess, I needed this thread!

My ex never used to wash dishes, after a while we decided I'd do the dishes if she cooked. From the minute I first got there, though, there were dishes and pots piled up precariously over a computer desk. I washed the necessary dishes and some extra things, but she told me to leave the really bad stuff. When she had to move out I had to face the bad dishes. They had been there for 6 months+. There were bits of cereal in a bowl that had been there for a year. The mold and stench and QUANTITY made me feel sick.

I'm also 99% sure the little dried streaks and droplets on my wall are ancient cum. I'll take care of that soon.

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Booky Mooky (mod)

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awaywiththefaeries wrote:

I always eat in bed. There's a weird orange stain on my sheets and I've no intention of changing them anytime soon. I'm not the most hygienic or tidy but I can create the illusion of a place looking clean by shoving everything into a wardrobe/ cupboard, usually does the job. I don't think I have ever probably cleaned a fridge...hmm....


 I always eat in bed too, there's even a stain on my mattress from when I spilled some coffee once. I've only been in this room since June...

OH, and there was a time when I spilled some cereal (there is a pattern forming here) on the sofa and I removed the cover to wash it, only to find that the sofa is covered in mysterious stains. UK student housing is great.



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Mookish Deity Most High

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When Fable and I were moving in together we were talking about who should do which chores, and I said I'd change the bed linen. Their response was "but that's only once every couple of months, so you'll need another chore too". Nice.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Hehehe. I love grossness.

I've left a pot of unfinished tomato, chicken and cheese pasta next to my sink for a solid 4 days now and this morning when I nudged it several teeny tiny flies hopped out of the pot. In fairness I've been working. My sisters been in the flat everyday sitting on her arse playing xbox and not bothered her shirt.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Oh speaking of flies. We have our food waste bin...which had maggots in it the other day when I emptied it!! This is not usual, it's just been quite warm so we've had all the windows open. I assume a fly has laid eggs on something which then got put into that bin. Still, it was gross!

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High Mookish Shaman

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In my old student house we never used to finish bottles of milk and we'd leave them on the side until they separated and then we'd dare each other to sniff them.
We also had an ashtray next to our cooker.

I miss that house sometimes.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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I used this scrub for the keratosis pilaris on the backs of my arms and, combined with the fact that I lose lots of hair when I wash it, this blocks the plug up a lot. Luckily it's the type of plug you can take out to clean, but if the blockage is really bad I have to wiggle my handle in the plughole to pull out the hair >_<

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Tis' not me, but a former roommate left a plate of yoghurt on his hat shelf. For 3 months. Ew.

When Magnus and I cleaned out my last room before I moved out, I took a break to stick the handle of the mop up my vagina.

Aaand at my mum's place it's always I who clean the drains. With a fork. I once fished up a sock. A partly decomposed sock.

In my current corridor of residence, we've recently started using separate bags for the compost. And we often forget to take these bags out. Several times, I've taken one out, just to find that the entire lower half of the paper bag has mold growing THROUGH it.



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Mookish Deity Most High

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^You can get biodegradable bags that are sort of plastic-like that don't support that kind of growth and can be put with recycling. You'd probably have to tip the contents out for composting, but it'd be a bit safer to forget about.

Tudor and I were pretty good at putting used condoms in the bin. Trouble was that in my flat we all have those feminine hygiene bins, so smells and nastiness are contained and they're emptied by some company so we don't have to poke around with that (we just have to put up with the cleaner banging on the door at seven am requesting access to the bathrooms...). Tudor's flat, being all boys, didn't have any of those bins. He brought his own bin and it did have a lid, so it wasn't that bad normally. He just never learned to put bags in the bin, so emptying the damn thing involved physically taking it down to the skip outside and tipping the contents over the side. He only emptied it when it was full. And, being a bloke, he never put makeup remover wipes or anything in it regularly other than condoms, the odd loo roll tube or empty shampoo bottle. So it took months to get full enough that he'd empty it.

The smell when he did. And the fact that, more often than not, something would get stuck in the bottom of the bin.

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Life Is A Mystery x Death Is Not = Angels and Eyeliner going to Hell hand in hand...

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Mookish Deity Most High

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^
We're given the bags by the landlord company, so we don't really get to choose  :/



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Regular Crew

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I cant stop laughing!! As i read through this thread I thought I had a post that could fall in here but when I reached the end....I got nothing. My family thinks that am a slob coz I mop my house once a week and wash dishes once every two days. Though I do on occasion keep veggies for too long and I have just remembered that I have potatoes to cook before they decide to start growing or do whatever they do when left alone for too long!!

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Seasoned Mookster

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.



-- Edited by Piglet on Wednesday 5th of November 2014 12:12:20 AM

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Mookish Deity Most High

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^ ARGH OH GOD the smell of liquefied decomposing potatoes is the worst thing ever :(

While I love my manperson to bits, his incredible capacity for creating crumbs drives me absolutely insane. Every single time he slices bread the entire kitchen counter is suddenly covered in the buggers, and he never ever wipes them up. It drives me mad. I don't understand how one person can create so many crumbs.

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