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Post Info TOPIC: Bright Copper Kettles and Warm Woolen Mittens


Mookish Deity Most High

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Bright Copper Kettles and Warm Woolen Mittens


I've somehow aquired this terrible habit of singing songs from musicals whn in a bad mood.

Earlier today, in a text that came completely out of the blue, City Boy dumped me. He didn't say why. Meaning this is probably the end of two years of madness that's seen me struggle in college, fall out with my parents, run away form home countless times, sent me on a strange teenage crisis which THEN saw me in the darkest depression I've ever been in and probably more.

I'm shaking. I won't cry. I'm pretending I'm okay. I'm not. This sucks.

He said he loved me. He said he wanted to marry me. He said he'd fucking die for me and that nothing I could do could make him want to get rid of me (with one exception, and I've not cheated on him).

For the past few months I've been afraid that he was the last good thing left in my life. I'm scared to go to bed tonight because I don't want to cry and I don't want to lie awake all night telling myself not to be a fucking whiney baby whore because ickle princess jay broke up with me.



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High Mookish Shaman

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I was scared to break up with House because he was the last good thing left in my life, but in the end we did it anyway and moved to opposite ends of the country.

I don't want to sound terribly harsh, but he can't have been a very good person if he dumped you by text, especially after 2 years.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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-Hugs x 100000000000- He's a spineless scag for dumping you via text. -more hugs- I'm sorry you're having to go through this. =(

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Mookish Deity Most High

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He sounds like a total arse.

Cry. Feel bad. It's ok to do it. Then pick yourself up and move on.

*HUGS*

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Lush Guru

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From what you've said about him on here I don't think he was a good thing in your life, let alone the last good thing.
I'm sorry though, it sucks to have that happen. He's an idiot.

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Honoured Mook

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Do not be afraid to cry. Believe me, you will feel so much better.

I got the same promises from my ex. It was hard when we broke up, too. You need to surround yourself with friends and distractions until you get over it. If you want an explination, try contacting him and talking it over?
I can't really offer much more advise, but I didn't want to read and run x

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Honoured Mook

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Don't be scared to cry, really. Actually, I've seen something about how crying can actually raise seretonin levels, so you actually will feel better on a chemical level as well.
If he didn't say why he did it, it's nothing to do with you. It's not your fault, and it's more his problem than anything. And by text? What an arse.
We're all here for you. *hugs*

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High Mookish Shaman

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I too think that talking it over may be a good idea. I actually believe that he dumped you via text after 2 years of relationship and didn't even say why means he's not perfectly sure about his decision to break up with you. He might have felt he wouldn't be able to say it to your face because he was in doubt. Try contacting him and ask him for a talk and some explanation. If he refuses, you can still insist he comes round and tells you goodbye to your face, like a grown-up man. I believe he may have second thoughts about this, really. Stay strong and rant whenever you need to xxxx

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Text dumping is horrible. It really is. It's spineless and the fact that he's being so mysterious about it makes it worse because now you've gone and got into a right worried frenzy :(

*Hugs*

Just remember, it's nothing you've done. You've been lovely and supportive and this is totally out of the blue. I would wait a little while and then arrange to talk to him in person or even call him just so you can talk it over and he can answer some of your questions.

*more hugs*

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High Mookish Shaman

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He *texted* you? To end a 2-year relationship?
The asshole! Just... ugh, who does that sort of thing?

-hugs-

Try talking to him... there must be a reason, no matter how ridiculous it is. I think that it's better to know than to be kept in the dark.

Silver white winters that melt into springs...

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Seasoned Mookster

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Never be ashamed to cry. It'll help to get it out of your system. It's a release, and it'll be good for you.

Throw yourself into things you enjoy, days out with friends, be creative - write a song, paint a picture - it'll all help to ease the pain.

I know it really hurts right now, and he was a total jerk to do the deed via text, but every day you wake up and feel like crap is another day you're closer to feeling brighter.

No matter how much of a jerk a guy is, every girl is allowed a mourning period.

Take care x

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Booky Mooky (mod)

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That's absolutely horrible. It has to be said though, if he's going to be enough of a twat to end two years by text, I think it's probably for the better.

We're all here for you my lovely xxx

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Mookish Deity Most High

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-- Edited by Angels+Eyeliner on Friday 10th of February 2012 10:29:39 AM

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Seasoned Mookster

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Two years and he ended it with a TEXT? If you were one of my IRL mates I'd be straight 'round his place with a baseball bat. And not for his birthday.

Cry all you want darling, it might not feel good at the time but it's cathartic (can't spell, can't find dictionary, hope you know what I mean) and you will feel better about it later when he's out of your system.

If he thinks not seeing you all the time is a good reason to break up with you then he doesn't deserve you. You're a lovely bright girl and the way you talk about him makes me think he's gotta be a damn lucky guy to have got you in the first place. He should make time to see you, or at least call you (I think you mentioned he never does or is never online or something).

I'd really love to tell you exactly what I think of him but it probably won't help. There's a chance that he just doesn't quite understand what an arse he's been about this. If a guy says he wants to marry you ect he either means it or wants to get you into bed (which doesn't seem like it).

If you geniunely want him back, then that message sounds like a good way to at least get him to talk and reconsider, but you could just accept this, try move on and find someone who does deserve a lovely Mook like you and let YOU be the princess, not him.

*hugs and icecream* Hope you got a decentish nights sleep anyway darling.



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Mookish Deity Most High

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He seems like an insensitive, unemotional arse. Don't bother messaging him back. He doesn't have the testicular fortitude to break up with you, explain himself or discuss the matter in person, to your face. AFTER TWO YEARS.

Believe me, you have to let yourself feel sad and cry about it if you want to eventually get over it. If you don't let yourself feel the things your head and your heart want you to feel, it'll all get pent up inside and you'll end up exploding one day. When Ladle told me she just wanted to be friends I had a good few days of moping about feeling sorry for myself, got it all out of the way and now I'm fine. Granted we were only casually seeing each other for a short while but the principle is the same for any relationship.

It really does sound like you're better off without him if he can be like this after two years.



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Mookish Deity Most High

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I'm reading through this and the only thing I'm thinking is "I want to kick that guys fucking head in." I'm sorry, but that message back was barely an explantion, how dare he think any of this is okay, and that can just end it lightly when you've been together for that amount of time. I would do one of two things, either kick up an enormous fuss and tell him just what an insensitive, ridiculous arse he is or let myself get everything I'm feeling out away from him and never give him the time of day again.

Wanker.
I hope you're okay *squidge*

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Urgh

Was talking to him earlier 'cos I wrote on his wall just saying Happy Birthday and stuff and it turned into an all out running joke about him getting old ect ect

Then when he was on fb chat we talked a bit more about that text and stuff and he decided that even though we see each other more then Cookie sees Sweet Demon (there's a bit of a distance between Alabama and England...) it's not enough for him. So he said we should still be friends and when I said that wasn't going to be enough for ME he basically said take it or leave it, so I've left it and we're done with.

*sigh* my only problem now is he's got some things at his house (disks of my work off my old PC that I don't have, jewellery, clothes, my mum's CDs and stuff) that I could go around and get without any trouble IF HE KNEW WHERE THEY WERE. It's probably going to be fifty years before he gets around to sorting out all the junk in his house. Most of it is replacable except my stories and my mum's music (well, her disks ARE replacable but the point is they were HERS not mine for him to lose). I think I'll jut drop round with his birthday card when he's at work and get his mum to search his room for me, lol.

I don't have time to be sad and mopey about it. After two years of pretty much contant messing around, it's actually easier then I thought it would be to see the back of him.

Oh and MrVampyre, I had a lovely morning sleep after spending all night attacking my computer with cough medicine and dumping induced creativity.

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High Mookish Shaman

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Picklechops wrote:

He seems like an insensitive, unemotional arse. Don't bother messaging him back. He doesn't have the testicular fortitude to break up with you, explain himself or discuss the matter in person, to your face. AFTER TWO YEARS.




 ^ exactly this.

Oh and yes, definitely get your stuff back! Rat left something of his at mine after he was a dick to me, and he got it back screwed up in a black bin liner left outside his front door in the snow.



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Mookish Deity Most High

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He's being such an utter twat about all of this, I don't know what else to add, but *lots of hugs*, you deserve someone better than that. Definitely go and get your stuff back, I personally wouldn't bother with Birthday cards and other such niceties, but that's your call.

I hope you're felling better soon. x

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High Mookish Shaman

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I'm so sorry that this happened, the same thing happened to me and I know how much it hurts. What makes it so much worse is not getting a proper explanation, just one day the feel one way, and then the next that changes, and the carpet is pulled from beneath you and you're left dangling.

It WILL get better in time, although I know that won't mean much now.
Best of luck, sweetie xx

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Honoured Mook

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*Hug*

I'm not too good on advice, but he sounds like he has no balls, dumping via text. Even at my age, dumping by text is majorly disrespectful.

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Honoured Mook

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:( You're just too awesome for him, and he couldn't handle your awesomeness. I haven't anything to say that hasn't been said, but I though I should say I think he's being a bit of a lot of a cunt and hope you get over it soon :/

Hope you're feeling ok/near ok now(actually, I'd rather he wasn't a wanker and you weren't sad at all) *hugs*.



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High Mookish Shaman

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*ker-squish*

Oh, I hope you're feeling better, sweetheart. It's good to know you're glad to see the back of him after the way he treated you. You're much better off without him - no-one should have to put up with someone who decides to throw two years of a relationship away.

Pop round his house and ask his mum to find your things? I don't know what'll be easiest for you, but just make sure you do get your things back!

Things will get better soon, honestly. :)
xxx

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Runic Mook of the North (mod)

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Huh, and here it was me once berating a mate for dumping a project -with a long letter of explaining, after 2 weeks...

I can't get my head around his behaviour, it doesn't seem normal nor entirely sane to me. You really deserve so much better than that!

Send him to therapy, it's a clear case of abnormal selfishness and insensitivity.

And if you get him something for his birthday it should be a corset. He obviously needs one seeing that he is totally spineless.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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LMAO

Frankly I think he needs help anyway. He works obsessivly, three (plus) jobs, which is why he has no time for me. No one needs that much stress.

I've decided to get his mum to find my junk. If she finds his cigs, booze and spare cash that's none of my business.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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*mega squidges for Emmi*

Sweetheart, it's not going to help anything my saying "oh, he was obviously a wanker, maybe it was for the best" if you regarded him as one of the best things in your life. But, quite honestly, I don't think I've ever seen you post anything about him that made him come across as a particularly wonderful person or someone who treated you very well...granted, some couples communicate/see each other more than others, but it seems as though it was always you who did the running, and it honestly should be a two-way deal in a relationship, not you making all the effort to keep things going. And if at the end of it all he can do is to send you a message as abrupt as that...maybe that should set some alarm bells going in your head. It's the ultimate expression of unreasonable behaviour and you don't deserve to be treated like this by anyone.

I know you're upset and, as others have said, you should cry if you need to. But, as you said somewhere else on the forum, imagine doors closing and doors opening for you as a result of this. You've been tied into this unfulfilling, rather unrealistic situation for two years and it's probably prevented you from meeting other people and doing other things. Think of the opportunities you'll have without these unrealistic expectations hanging over your head! This may not help now, but it surely will later. Big big loves xxx

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Honoured Mook

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I'd try and get him to meet you in person just so you can whack him in the bollocks with a plank of wood!!!
*massive hugs*

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Dame of Mooky (mod)

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I can imagine all the mooks doing this.

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Seasoned Mookster

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I'm with Tabi on this. In fact, I'll bring the wood

(Disclaimer- I am not the guy who often gives girls permission to smack other members of his gender in the family jewels. However, this guy is such a grade a ass that he's ruining it for all other men and if the girls don't sort him out, we'll have to)

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Honoured Mook

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lollyPOP. OMG. That was hilarious.
I hope you're getting on okay, A+E. Did you get your stuff back yet?

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