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Post Info TOPIC: Best way to build your self confidence?
Do you feel confident about yourself? [162 vote(s)]

most times
17.3%
all the time
4.9%
never
21.0%
I'm only human here! It depends on the weather
56.8%


Honoured Mook

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RE: Best way to build your self confidence?


I like when I make someone laugh. That always gives me a little boost.
Although most of the time i'm a fat/chubby androgynous freak, when I make people giggle, I become...a smiley androgynous freak.

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High Mookish Shaman

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My confidence rises (i.e. from deep below zero to zero) when I cut my own hair and when I jog regularly so I get into shape.

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Honoured Mook

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Accomplishing things. Anything!

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Regular Crew

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Don't think too much about what other people think of you!

And just be yourself - if others can't accept you for who you are, that's their loss!

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Seasoned Mookster

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Well I`ve been reading this book called Dynamic thought by Henry Thomas Hamblin.
And It`s helped me a lot.
Now the main point of the book is, You are what you think.
Now if you think you`re worthless and you suck you eventually will.
Negative thoughts bring more negative thoughts.
Basicly you just need to focous on  staying positive, not an easy task I know.
It will seem incredibly hard at first.
The trick is to affirm only good things in to your life, by telling your self I can do it.
And deny everything that is negative. This is not being naive, but rather, surounding yourself with positive energy, not letting circumstances drag you down.

Oh, woe is me, whow can you know the pain that is my miserable existance, you may cry, from your darkened rooms, whilst listening to Him or something equally depressing.  Let me let you inn on a little secret, Ten years ago, I was so misserable I tried to kill myself three times. Cause when enough pepole say you`re worthless you eventyally start beleiving it.
So, what made me snap out of it? what made me beleive in myself?
It was at my darkest moment when the realization hit me, I am ment for more than this, I have a higher purpose. Beleive that you alreaddy have everything inside you in order to suceed, no matter what others tell you, because you have.
You have to stop judegeing yourself negatively.
Often when pepole are judeging something you`ve made or done, they are really just judging their perseption of it.
So basicly, you just have to learn to love your self, yes I know this may sound cliched or even perverse to some. But this is not a selfish kind of love, for when you love your self, you can love others more fully, because there is more love to give.
You wouldn`t want to hurt or think ill of some one you love, so why should you treat yourself any differently. Know that you are not your physical body, know that you are not your thoughts. But that wich observes, you are life itself, you are infinate posibility.
When things seem to go against you, stop and think what am I leaning from this experiance, how can it make me stronger?
For you see, there is always a reason the way things are as they are.
Do this and you will slowly, start to develop, getting better, stronger.
With this sort of mental attitude, you will start to subconciously take actions to get you moving along. You will not by marely thinking about it, but by your actions, driven by subconcious desire attract things, pepole and events in to your life, that will lead you on your path. I myself have done this, while I wouldn`t say I have gotten everything I want from life, I am a hell of a lot closer now.
I can do things, I thought I was incapable of, and who knows what I will acheive later on?


Well, that was a rather long rant, but I hope someone finds it usefull. biggrin



-- Edited by Ziggy_wolf on Thursday 19th of August 2010 04:19:24 PM

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Honoured Mook

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My biggest piece of advice: dance about your room in your knickers to the cheesiest "I'm a girl here I am" music (mines usually Lady Gaga) and pretend like you're in your own music video. You will feel amazing.
Then hold on to that feeling of how awesome you are ALLL day.

(I've done this every morning for the last year without fail - it's so much fun & people wonder why you've got a ridiculous grin on your face so early in the morning!)

-- Edited by Miss Nimrod on Tuesday 31st of August 2010 08:03:43 PM

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Mookish Deity Most High

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^So that's why you have a lovely mad grin on your face in your avatar! ;)

Dave.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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Yo Ziggy Wolf, I hope you see this because that really just gave me the kick up the arse to stop wallowing and start liking myself again. Just thought I'd say that because it's always nice to know when you've made an impact on someone, especially if it's a positive one :).

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Seasoned Mookster

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That`s nice. Still keeping my motiviation up even though things are really hard right now. but I refuse to give up.

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Honoured Mook

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Indeed Dave! I'm Lady Nimnim haha biggrin xx

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Mookish Deity Most High

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:)

Dave.

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Regular Crew

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I like to dye my hair strange colors.
It's fun for me, I like the smell, the mess , and i feel special afterwords.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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My afro puffs give me confidence. Its the number one hairstyle that looks best on me and I've been told that the puffs make me look like a panda. Pandas send me to a happy place.

Also because of my love for my afro puffs I decided not straighten my hair and conform to how everyone thought I should look. Family members and random people used to make me feel bad about my appearance after I chopped off my relaxer and started to grow my natural hair out. I actually believed what they were saying and was going to go back to the relaxer when I randomly put my hair in afro puffs. Their is something magical about them.

Lastly I stay away from the media stuff. I'm careful about the tv channels and shows I watch, I stopped picking up fashion mags, and I stayed away from whatever trends experts have to say. To quote Helena Bonham Carter: I am the anti-christ of fashion.

-- Edited by MarshmallowNoise on Monday 22nd of November 2010 08:34:58 PM

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Regular Crew

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Take pictures on the days that you feel really happy, confident, and sexy. Keep one on you at all time to remind yourself that you're beautiful and perfect the way you are, regardless of what anyone else might thing.

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Regular Crew

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MR wrote:

I used to be totally shy, now I'm a fairly confident lady! My advice? Feel the fear and do it anyway. It can never go as badly as you can imagine, and once you realise that day to day life isn't actually that scary, it's so empowering!



 

this is my motto too.. since I read the book.  It's rare for something to completly beat me... although random anxiety nearly got the better of me last week.

Thing is, not to be surprised or down on yourself if you do find something scary... but to not let it stop you doing it.  Grit your teeth if you need to then pick yourself up and get on with it...

 

Have to admit tho, there are still some things that are taking some uber work!



-- Edited by Antonym on Wednesday 1st of August 2012 01:04:58 PM

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Honoured Mook

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Never had any confidence..But am starting to gain some. Slowly but surely :)

Do something you would never see yourself as brave enough to do normally..its a great boost :)

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Honoured Mook

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I came to the conclusion that life is just way too short to give a stuff. If you act confident and feel confident, eventually you become confident. It takes practise but it's good to remember that insecurity is basically in everyone, it's just how you deal with it.
I was proud of myself when I was asked recently if I would be coming to some sort of gathering by an someone
that I vaguely knew. I really didn't fancy it and the usually typically English reaction would be to make some really inane excuse "so sorry, I'm washing the dog, oh damn, I'm buying kombucha and cake that day, blah blah well you get it. "So how about it then?" I was asked by the person "um no thank you" I replied "oh are you busy then?" came the reply. "No.....I just don't want to, good day!" I said.......oo confidence!

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Honoured Mook

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I've come to the conclusion that the best way to build your self-confidence is to always make clear what you want in life.
There's a quote by Amelia Arsenic, singer and creative mind of the band Angelspit that caught my attention a few days ago: "Your life is always as best as the things you've created. If you don't like what you see, create something better."
I know this is a difficult thing to do sometimes. But you have to give yourself the time you and your life needs.

Easy things to start with is always painting my nails, dying my hair and making some cute accessories and clothes myself. Create things you love and you can be proud of. See your face as your personal canvas and create nice make-ups.
And I also like to keep in mind to not give a fuck about what people think. People are people, they always stare at things they find strange.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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I tend to appear more confident than I am, mostly by tossing around wise cracks and generally being the clown. People generally seem to believe that if you're comfortable enough to laugh and make jokes with them you're bubbling with confidence, even if you're a squishy jelly inside (which I usually am). Concentrating on amusing others distracts me from worrying whether or not I look awkward, or if I'm sticking my jaw out like a turtle. Seriously, I do that. It's really hard to explain. Well, at least I'm not like my brother, who walks with hunched shoulders like the Honey Monster.



-- Edited by Lady Misery on Sunday 10th of April 2011 05:51:20 PM

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High Mookish Shaman

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I'm quite a shy and quiet person naturally, but I've always wanted to be one of these people that oozes confidence. If I start pretending I'm really confident in my head, I notice that I actually start being more confident on the outside - so fake it until you make it!

Also, for some reason, I find that always wearing really nice lingerie, regardless of whether anyone is going to see it or not gives me a little boost..



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Honoured Mook

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List 5 things everyday about good things that happened. I don't do it but i know it helps.

Or 10 things you like about yourself sort of thing.

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Mookish Deity Most High

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I've noticed that my Performing Arts BTEC has made me more confident. I believe acting and creating characters has boosted my S.F more.

Also (quite TMI) shaving down there and wearing sexy undies always makes me more confident.

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High Mookish Shaman

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^ I wax rather than shave, but I agree - a bit of waxing and some sexy underwear always make me feel better. This is why I don't own any underwear that I don't consider to be pretty or sexy. I can't be done with mismatched, worn out, boring underwear!

Today, I discovered something great for building confidence! Since I broke up with my ex and am stuck living with him, I moved into the spare room, which is small and a little boring. While I've tried to make it my own with nice bedding and lots of things I like, the bare white walls make me a bit sad. This being the case, I decided to make my room a little more inspiring by decorating the walls with things that remind me of the really good things in my life, and my achievements...

...it's a work in progress, but so far I have the following:

- A painting that R did for me (I bought him some canvases, paint and brushes because I thought that he might enjoy painting. He'd never painted anything, but decided to give it a go. The painting I have was his first ever, and I love it!)
- A photo of myself in cap and gown on the day I graduated from my fine art degree
- Three photo's of my model wearing Eve Bespoke clothes (test prints of the three that I have framed on my studio wall)
- A newspaper clipping from Wednesday's Journal, about me and Eve Bespoke

I totally recommend collecting things that make you think about all you have achieved, and all of the good things in your life. It really gives you a lift!


xxx Eve

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Mookish Deity Most High

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For quick boosts I go with:

Cutting/dying my hair.
Dressing a bit nicer, spending more time doing my hair and make up on days I feel ugly.
Making myself smell nice (scented moisturisers, perfume etc)
Shopping for nice new outfits

Things that really help:

Looking in the mirror and pointing out to myself which parts I DO like instead of focusing on parts I don't
Finding girls who were nasty to me at school on Facebook and being amused by the fact they have gotten fat/are doing nothing with their lives (bitchy I know but still)
Talking to my mum when things are bothering me

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Seasoned Mookster

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As a child I was very shy and reserved and afraid to speak, even though I knew how. I avoided speaking like the plague. I was then trained to sing in our Catholic School Choir and sang on a regular basis, but lost my confidence due to stage fright and haven't really sang since, because I was put so down. Over the years I have just been faking confidence and slowly feeling real confidence in regards to talking to people and being myself, but what I struggle with loads is my love life, and no matter how confident I am in any other area of life, and no matter how interested the other person seems, I just can never feel confident enough to tell them how I feel or accept that they like me. I feel almost as though it's never going to happen and I'll never have a loving relationship with someone, and that scares me slightly. Has anyone had the same problem? Does anyone have any advice for me? This has been happening to me alot in the past few years, where I start dating people, who seem like genuine, interesting and caring people, but then I leave it too long until they get bored of me/waiting on me to give a sign. I have no sense of time when it comes to love, and I fear that I make a move to soon and seem clingy.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :D

Am I the only person who feels like this?

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Honoured Mook

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^ I feel the same way, don't worry :) I think of confidence and happiness as intertwining, so I made two lists - things I love and things I hate - and I try to make the things I love a bigger part of my life and eliminate the things I hate. I think a Mook posted this video, but I can't remember who (possibly Dave). Chase that happy! http://youtu.be/nTQWtJVlJhk



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Seasoned Mookster

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^Ha! Chase that happy! Well, I just had a positive thought. I'm going to a festival with a pond on site this summer and the guy I like is going to be there. Of course, my lack of confidence has me feeling a bit afraid of what might happen if things don't happen with us (awkwardness, what if he gets a girlfriend who I think is prettier than me and have a bad weekend at the festival) but then I had a thought which I am now repeating to myself "If things happen between us, there will be LOTS of fun that weekend, and if they don't, I can still push him in the pond, which will also be very fun!" . . . Ah, the joys of being a schadenfreude. :D

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Regular Crew

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I'm a pretty up and down person in general,

like most I think. But one thing I do like about myself is resilience!

I feel I have a knack for bouncing back well sometimes . And faking it really does work, it dominoes you into real confidence eventually which is just bloody brilliant!



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Seasoned Mookster

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Start with your body. Eat what's good for you, indulge a little, work out, strip and get naked as often as possible. Then get basic skills for employeement.



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Regular Crew

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^ Great advice marilyn you put it very well and make it sound so simple!

And Ziggy Wolf I must have missed your post last time because it was one of the best things I've ever read on here!! Seriously.

It's so mad to read what I posted last summer...I don't remember writing that and I don't remember feeling so positive about things..

Funny how feelings change so much, this gives me hope. At least I know I was positive about my self confidence and image and all that noise.

I WILL BE AGAIN!

 

Hope so anyways :)



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