^^ LOL.

All this poo is making me think of season 3 of the Boosh. "This one's called 'I Did a Shit on Ya Mum'"..
And Howard in the second lot, as a goth..."I went to the cemetary today..I did a shit on a tombstone"

-- Edited by Milky Josephine at 14:27, 2009-02-20

When I was little, I think something around 3 years old, my mom took me to the beach. Well, as one could expect, I pooped into the lake - and wors of all, couldn't kee my mouth shut about it, but yelled in my then-bright little girl voice, off of the top of my lungs, the most terrifying truth of all: "Mommy, I pooped into the lake!"

I think the funniest one I've ever heard was my bf's friend. At glastonbury he got so drunk he passed out in a field, puked all over himself (clothes and long hair) then took a poo in a field and, in his drunken state, wiped his bum on his shirt. His friends couldn't find him at home time so left and he slept in the field so long that he had to take the train home with communters.

The most embarassing thing that happened to me was when I worked in a shop. They had a tiny toilet and I suddenly had to do a big poo. I went(I'm paranoid about pooing around people) and it was so big and got stuck to the bottom of the toilet and wouldn't flush. I kept going back to try to flush it down but it just wouldnt go, even when I poked it. I left at the end of the day not knowing what happened. Now I go to the Costa down the road and buy a coffee spefically so I can use their toilet to poo.
Oh and then when I was about 10 or 11 I was at my friends sleepover and I did aa big poo and her toilet wouldn't flush. I went and discretly asked her if she knew how to fix it but when she did everyone followed her and another friend opened the lid and saw my poo. She never let it go because she was amazed that such a big poo came from such a small person.

And lastly, when my bf was staying with me and my parents for a while he got the shits. He went to get some immodium from the shop (very small town) I went with him and when he bought the immodium he handed it to me in front of the cashier and said 'here, this should help you with your problem'.

Astrolatry wrote:

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..he slept in the field so long that he had to take the train home with communters.

---

I liked the idea of co-munters.

But the rest was funny too!

 

Haha, "cheek-rippling." I love your word choice.

Haha just read this entire thread from the beginning, and I'm absolutely laughing my head off!

I'm at college and trying so hard not to cackle out loud!

Someone came in a while ago and said there was a woman in the toilet who was having a poo with the door open... then looked at me strangely when I howled and buried my face in the keyboard

I don't understand why I haven't read this thread before...

Personally I've never done an embarrassing poo. Partly because I have a hardy stomach, but mostly because I don't get embarrassed easily.

I do however have a few poo stories.

When I was a little girl (about 4?), my mum was taking me visiting some friends far away. I told her I had to go, but I guess there were no place to stop. So I hold on the best I could until we were at her friends' house. I made it to the bathroom door, then my bowels just gave in. It was poo everywhere, even all over my shoes (I think the previous observation that children are made up mostly of shit is correct).
I was bawling my heart out over this loss of self control, and my clothes and shoes were ruined.
So my mum went to the clothes store we had been in earlier that day and bought the lovely red dress and the gorgeous white sandals I had tried on but that she had decided were too expencive.
I remember standing outside after being cleaned up, gazing down om my new, shiny, beautiful sandals and thinking: Success


-- Edited by Irilar on Friday 20th of March 2009 08:00:22 AM

Another poo story, concerning a friend:

Me and my mate were in Thailand, taking our divers licence. My friend is cursed with a sensitive stomach and the whole trip was for her devoid of stool types 3 and 4.

But she really wanted that divers license, our journey was getting to it's end, and anyway she was feeling a lot better.

It all went well until one divers class when all the schools group were out with the big boat. She was in one of the last groups to go in, so most of the rest of us was done, lazing about on deck and waiting, when this happened:

Suddenly, while being 10 meters under the water surface trying to learn something, my friend really had to go. Telling your teacher in class that you have to run for the toilet can be embarrassing. Trying to tell your teacher this by sign language and desperate bubbling is pretty much impossible.

I remember seeing her shooting out of the water like a hyperactive, spluttering, otter, worried teacher in tow, paddling frantically towards the boat, throwing off her gear and pushing through the crowd with that superfast penguin shuffle you do when you clench your butt cheeks really tight.
Everyone was really worried at first that there had been an accident or something, but since she headed straight for the loo, and stayed there for ages, it soon became pretty easy to figure out what was going on.

Good thing she doesn't get embarrassed easily either.

Haha! For the first half of your story I thought you'd said you were in Thailand getting your driver's license, and I was very puzzled! "Why did she have to go to Thailand to get a driver's license? Why are they on a boat to drive a car?" :P
Miming "I have to go - NOW!" would be very difficult!

This isn't mine, but today at school there was a poo on the floor of the boys' toilets. Everyone was crowding round and taking pictures of it, and it got so bad that one of the teachers had to stand outside the toilet and not let anyone in. Apparently, it was about three inches wide and very very long.

I remember doing one while in the bath when I was three or four years old, but that's about it.

I have noticed lately the likelihood of men to be proud of their larger than normal poos. Once my brother took one so large it wouldn't even flush; it just sort of rotated in the water, and it ended up having to be cut with a knife. He was smiling the rest of the day.

My boyfriend did something similar not too long ago, but he ended up being so damn proud that he called everyone in the house at the time to look at it. It was at that time that I momentarily wondered why I was dating him.

I can't really hypothesize any reason why they'd be so damn proud of large poos, except maybe the fact that they think it's possibly the closest they'll come to knowing what child birth is like.

^ Oh my god...boys are so gross!

^ when I first started seriously seeing my bf, we were at my parents house (they wern't home thank god). He had been in the toilet for a while when he yelled my name. Thinking he was out of toilet paper or something I went up. He threw the door open (standing with his pants round his ankles) and asked me to look at his poo cos he thought it was quite possibly the biggest one he'd ever done.

It confused me alot.

*shakes head*

And we breed with this species? lol.

this is so embarassing but i might as well contibute!

well, when i was a little kid i had problems going to the loo etc. So one day my mother gave me this "magic" chocolate to make me poo, it didnt work that day like it was supposed too.

... Heres the embarassing bit.! The next day at the local playground I was standing on top of this climbing frame and I farted..yup you guessed right. I filled my knickers!!
to top it off the only way i could get off the climbing frame was to go down the slide.. Mega embarassment as my mother relates this story to my friends as often as humanly possible.

I was a child for pete's sake!

lol well there you go... xx

I can't really think of anything other than little "accidents" when I was really young.

I was round my boyfriends house the other day and his mum stumbled across this poo-related website which is really icky but I thought as this is a poo-related thread someone might be interested:http://www.ratemypoo.com/

Here's my poo-moment:

Imagine a sunny summer day. A very happy one year old Spiggy is at her grandmother's. It's lovely outside and Spiggy is playing on the balcony, squatting because the floor is too cold for her to sit down. She's not wearing a nappy because she's a happy baby when her bum is "free". All of a sudden, a nice poo appears on the floor.

My Mum keeps talking about this incident, she thinks it was hilarious. :P

Nothing really embarassing, but my mother did have to bribe me to start using the toilet as a young child by giving me a box of plastic dinosaurs.

Camouflage_Panda wrote:

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I can't really think of anything other than little "accidents" when I was really young.

I was round my boyfriends house the other day and his mum stumbled across this poo-related website which is really icky but I thought as this is a poo-related thread someone might be interested:http://www.ratemypoo.com/

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Ohmy God...I went to that website and busted out laughing in horror!!!

-- Edited by SherriMa on Tuesday 7th of July 2009 03:09:11 AM

about a year ago, my sister started complaining that she hadnt pooed in four days and it was starting to hurt her tummy. after a week she went to the doctor with my mom and got some horse sized help-you-poo pills. after another week and a half we went camping and she brought her boyfriend along. she was complaining the whole time about her tummy and her bodys non poo campaign. on the last day she goes to the loo for almost an hour. right before she came out, she shouts 'YAY I POOED' it was quite funny, but troubling since she didnt really poo for two and a half weeks. her and her boyfriend just moved out together. :] so that was my story. not as funny as half the stories on here but oh well.

I dont believe ive ever done an embarrasing poo but I have a funny embarrasing poo story.

Basically, my partner and I had only just got together, and for some absolutly stupid reason we decided to have sex for the first time together in a public toilet.
So we snuck in and started.. well. you know what happens.

Anyway, we hear some footsteps and both try to be really still and quiet. This woman went into the cubicle next door and started peeing. Okay, that was fine. Kinda funny but fine.
Then she started taking this massive poop.
Like noises and everything.
And it went on for ages.
i swear we were in there biting out cheeks and trying not to laugh for at least 5 minutes.

It was disgusting and completly ruined the experience. haha.

I havent used those loos since.

Goddess!!! I was laughing.. sooo hard.... I dont know if Im grossed out .. but how fun!!!

never have i had an embarrassing poo, thankfully and sadly i am known to only use the bathroom once a day, for either poo or pee. It's cuz my kidneys are shot XD

haha i've jsut seen this thread!

I don't think this story embarrassing compared to some of the others, but I was in africa, on safari, and my tummy was funny. So we're driving around the bush with not only my parents and siblings, but with some fmaily that we have in Africa and i really really really needed a poo! We had to stop while i poo'd (there were no toilets either and someone had to come with me incase I got attacked by a wild animal!). When I got back to the car-type thing my mum asked me in really loud voice if I'd done a poo poo and whether it was a good one or not.

cringeeeeee

every day. I'm in a house with 4 other girls and our walls are really thin. We're in that awkward stage :D

Not sure if this counts really, but here goes - during a period of time where I had no internet at home, I went into a Mac store and checked my Facebook on one of the computers. I didn't log out, but thought I'd be OK cos I didn't click the 'remember me' box when I logged in, and usually that automatically signs me out if I click off it. Well, this time it didn't. When I next got on to Facebook, which was well over a day later, I found that posted as my status was the phrase 'is having a poo', followed by a comment saying 'is a bit sloppy'. Needless to say, I was horrified and immediately posted a long status explaining that it wasn't me who wrote that and how my facebook had been hijacked.

So yeah, it's more a case of an embarrassing poo that I hadn't done :P

I don't know if this counts, as it's more my mum being embarrassed by my brother's poo
A while ago, my mum came over for Sunday lunch and my brother said he wanted a 'poo', so my mum took him to the toilet. A long while later, I decided to go and see if she needed any help, as we'd soon be having pudding and upon walking in, I find poo smeared on the bathroom floor and my mum holding her poo covered shoe in the air O.o apparently my brother had decided to go on the floor and in her haste to stop him she stood in it...needless to say, she was embarrassed >.>

I did DofE and had no choice but to poo in a field....I couldnt hold on for 10miles of walking....Im not bothered about pooing its natural, dont wanna poo! dont EAT! The only strange bit was my friend asking if she could take a picture!!! (I did say no!)

I love this thread!.....When I was about 7 I remember pooing out of our treehouse while my little brother and a girl we had just met (think it was one of my mam's friends' daughter) watched from below!...I remeber both of them just staring at me but they weren't even that surprised, I don't think. I think I just did it because I thought it would be funny! I really don't know why they weren't scarred for life. Even thinking about it now,one of my earliest memories i might add, I die laughing!

That's so funny!

My story's more of an experience but great little example of women who don't know each other pulling together.

So I worked at a leisure centre and decided to get a workout in before my shift.

I went to the loo and did a number 2, to find (NIGHTMARE), no toilet roll. I'm sat there contemplating how I'm gonna hafta 'squelch' through 3 miles on the treadmill, then an 8 hour shift. My life was flashing before my eyes.

I here both the cubicle doors close next door, desperately call out and pray... "'Scuse me, I'm really sorry, can one of you ladies either side of me please please pass me some loo roll please?"

No answer from the left, I hear footsteps as she walks off. I sit glued to my toilet seat - it's all I can do.

Then, a hand appears next to my right foot hold toilet paper. My saviour. I thank her enthusiastically through the wall and at the hand basin, very relieved.

She'll never know (and probably dosen't want to know) the day that she saved me from by passing me that loo roll. Thank goodness for random acts of kindness